I've got hog's jowls, crow's feet, frown lines, forehead wrinkles, neck wattles, chin crevasses, nose veins, ear hair, puffy, discoloured bags under my eyes, and red and brown splotches all over my face. Plus, I'm fat and bald. It's horrifying.
While prohibited by the ancient Guy Code from resorting to any sort of remedy for my "maturing face," or even talking about it, I know I am not alone. I see my sagging, wrinkled, pale brethren downtown all the time, shuffling their way to yet another office meeting. Their ravaged visages are begging for a makeover, but they're too proud or ashamed to admit it. As a result, these poor guys have no clue how to enhance their ugly mugs.
Help is available. Dr. Ashwani Singh of CosMedics - a medical spa that does plenty of Botox, among other face- and body-fixing procedures - says very few of his male patients come in on the recommendation of poker buddies. They're accompanied by their wives, he says, "and we're seeing more and more men, especially this year." A visit to Dr. Don Groot is encouraging, too. The local dermatologist has also noticed an "upswing" in male patients recently. Why? Two out of two doctors agree: aging baby boomers who get laid off in a slow economy need to look more "marketable" - and fast.
Groot pulls out the mirror of truth to point out several prominent landmarks on my own sadly neglected face. He suggests a Botox treatment for jowls. It's called the "Nefertiti Lift," named after the ancient Egyptian queen because injections are done on the jaw line and mimic the straightened shape of the queen's face. Botox (a derivative of botulism toxin that has been in clinical use for decades) may get bad press for causing frozen faces unable to convey basic human emotions, but Groot says that's not a problem if it's used correctly. However, botox treatments last only four to six months, so patients are required to make regular trips to maintain the look they want.
Clinics throughout the city offer a smorgasbord of non-invasive rejuvenation delights. Unwanted wrinkles and other facial fissures can be filled with injections of revitalizing goo. Lasers can vaporize blemishes. Microdermabrasion - a light sandblasting - exfoliates dead skin cells to make your face look fresher. Photorejuvenation uses short pulses of intense light for basically the same thing. Groot's clinic also offers liposuction and hair transplants.
Post new comment